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infected glue on wooden parsley robots
Monday, October 31, 2005
You read right, we've got new sounds for your thirsty earsWe'll send a mass email soon, but dontgetanyonyou readers get first dibs
To get your Halloween going, check out this list of haunted places in Missouri. Of course, ghosts aren't real. Or are they? Mwahahaha!
The Rock N Roll Hall of Fame is doing a retrospective on the great Sam Cooke. This post should balance out the one below.
VIDEO: Ahhh, there's nothing like long hair, goofy instruments, guitar gymnastics and BO. This guy is in a time warp. But its funny.
Own A Piece Of America offers you free land ownership in any state. The size of your piece of land is not suitable for much, but they claim its 100% legit. Why not?
Bush has named his next Supreme Court Justice pic. Here is the Washington Post dossier on Samuel Alito. Bush had pushed the benefits of Meirs being a legal outsider, now he's pushing the benefits of having a veteran of the legal system. Spin, spin, spin
Friday, October 28, 2005
The Aristocrats is a movie by Penn Gillette that came out a few months ago. Many famous comics tell this one joke in variations. Its been described as the filthiest joke ever and as comedy for comics. Here's another description. Draw your own conclusions.
A White House spokesman publicly asked that The Onion stop using the presidential seal in their reports and jokes. The Onion replies with this gem.
This might be the only fun picture out of Iraq in the past two years. Of course, the Saddam statue falling was great, too.
Lewis "Scooter" Libby, Dick Cheney's top aide, has been indicted on 5 counts. They include obstruction and perjury. More indictments may come. Libby has resigned.
For a nice pastoral-pastrami, enjoy meatscapes.
Thursday, October 27, 2005
Fighting for freedom and baconIts the Tony Morhpin' Sour Rangers
VIDEO: A rare Bruce Lee screen test recorded in late '71. Filmed in black and white, Bruce is in a suit doing moves for the camera. Very cool.
A rare photo of Einstein at... wait, what does that say?
Once again, The Smoking Gun comes through. This is the letter Harriet Miers sent to W Bush to back out of the nomination.
More good news for... what were we talking about?
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
Pentagon to the US public: Don't make a big deal out of 2,000th dead in Iraq. Nothing to see here. Keep moving.
Never give up on the music. Can you tell which 'Nsync'er needs a tan?
In spite of how dumb this looks, it took a while (poor me).
Afraid To Ask is a site filled with info on those touchy medical subjects. Do you have questions or issues you don't want to talk about? Check it out.
Funny or stupid? Stunny? Fupid?
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
AUDIO: Soundboards are pages with triggers for audio clips. Some voices are entertaining just on their own. These would include Homer Simpson, Tony Soprano, Paulie Walnuts and Scarface.
Thanks: KillSomeTime
Thanks: KillSomeTime
OK. Yeah. That's really, really disturbing.
Monday, October 24, 2005
We're overdue for a post-in-questionable-taste. This one is a lot of fun. Try double clicking, after you figure out what's going on there.
Optical illusions can tell us plenty about our brains. This illusion is impressive. There's another you can do based on the point the optic nerve contacts the back of the eye (I forget what its called). At that point, no image is registered and so the brain blends colors to compensate. You need a white card with a small black dot on it to do that one.
This one may be a repost: Chess-Boxing. Alternate rounds of chess and boxing where there can be only one victor. Any takers?
Bush has selected Ben Bernanke as the new cheif of the Federal Reserve. His bio looks good, but why would CNN include his near-win in a 1965 spelling bee? Please god, let there be no more chances for Bush to leave another long-lasting stain.
Sunday, October 23, 2005
At a White House press conference last week, George Bush's press secretary stated that two Brazilian soldiers had died in Iraq that day. Bush suddenly burst into tears. When everyone looked up he blurted out, "How many is in a brazillion?"
Source: I forgot
Update: It was Jack. Sorry Jack. (10/26/05)
Source: I forgot
Update: It was Jack. Sorry Jack. (10/26/05)
Ownage InternationaleThe Queen owns a subject
Saturday, October 22, 2005
VIDEO: This is a Japanese cartoon short with a cool plot. There are Japanese characters typed on screen, but if you watch closely you can figure it out. Leave your speakers on for the music.
Here's a list and some info on shorts like the one above. I put this link below to help make sure they worked first. Enjoy.
Bleeeeechcch
Beware the illusive half deer, half pumpkin, for he will... do something bad. Real bad.
Thursday, October 20, 2005
VIDEO: This guy is named Criss Angel (stupid), but he has a show called Mindfreak on A&E and its good magic. This clip is him in action. Criss Angel site is here. He was on Love Line last night and he was really very sharp and had no "magician's ego" at all.
This is the bacon trophy
NEWS: One of Saddam Hussien's defense lawyers has been taken by gunmen.
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
A woman has been found dead in a house a few miles north of UMSL. She was trying to burglarize the home when she became stuck in a window. In an attempt to free herself, her pants fell off. One word: macabre.
Texas Court has issued an arrest warrent for Tom Delay. If you don't know the story already, read it. Its big news. Between this and the Lewis Libby leak of Valarie Plame (I bet he did it), the Bush army may crumble yet.
VIDEO: Its old but funny. Triumph the Insult Comic Dog talks to people in line for the Attack of the Clones opening in New York.
As you can see, I'm staying very busy in La La Land. Contact me for a taste of delicious Christian Crispsssssss.
Hurricane Wilma is now a catagory 5, and is already breaking records for strength. Its predicted to head up the coast to New England. Scary.
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Type in your address and this program claims to map all the sex offenders in your neighborhood (via Google). The link came from I good source, so I assume its legit. The information is public under Megan's Law.
Monday, October 17, 2005
VIDEO: In an attempt to dramatize the flooding in New Jersey, a Good Morning America reporter breaks out her canoe. Its impressive until two guys walk by showing the water to be a scary 3 inches deep.
Sunday, October 16, 2005
Meeting of the Tonys. Yeah, I know.
Next time someone says, "well... I am an artist", send them over to this page. Some of it is nice to look at. Really. Animal Art.
This one sums it up. The artist is Mark Bryan (info on painting).
The Chinese launched a space ship this past week and many news agencies covered their potential rise to global dominance. Then their auto industry tries to step up. USA! USA!
PSA: Never pay for directory assistance again 1-800-FREE-411. You just have to put up with adverts. No, I'm not paid for this. Just here to help.
2,169. That is the number of US and coalition forces killed in Iraq. 1,974 of those dead are Americans. These are important numbers that should be recognized and respected.
Judith Miller has spent 6 months in jail protecting the name of a source she now can't recall. Bullsh*t. This lady's got a seat in hell just waiting for her. She was involved in the outing of undercover agent Valerie Plame after Valerie's husband, a US Ambassador, criticized Bush. Ugh.
Saturday, October 15, 2005
Don't fear the head. Wash, rinse and repeat repeat repeat eat.
The Smoking Gun has letters sent between George W and his Supreme Court nominee Harriet Miers. They are kinda funny. On this subject, I was listening to Michael Savage's radio show Savage Nation last night and he stated that Miers was on the commitee to nominate a new Justice and she nominated herself.
Pentagon denies Bush's teleconference with US soldiers in Iraq was staged. These guys had to have been coached at least. You may have seen this a few nights ago. In any case, if it wasn't staged, W is lucky he didn't get someone screaming, "get me the f*$% out of this s#@$!"
I spoke with someone about my Hitler pic (below) and got the response that my blog is smarter than that sort of low-brow attack. This assessment came in spite of stories about giant pumpkins and people eating rats. In any case, the photo edit was a cheap shot and not in the best taste. Here I am, the sad clown.
Friday, October 14, 2005
Thank you Cornell Law. Here's a list of our Bill of Rights. Its always good to know what you are allowed, and what isn't covered. You'd be surprised how little most people know about this list.
Extreme... yes it is. But so what. Bush isn't guilty of a fraction of the crimes of Hitler. That's obvious. The comparison is of one dictator to another leader who would like to be one. Besides, congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.
The great Jim Martin of Faith No More fame has traded his guitar for a pair of overalls. The guitarist is now a grower of uber-pumpkins.
A new cancer treatment is in the works at U of Delaware. A researcher has a way of destroying cells with micro-explosions. I like the approach. Here's to a cure with a touch of revenge for those f'ing cells.
Ahhh the Asians... is there anything they won't eat?
Thursday, October 13, 2005
Breaking news that affects me more than most. KWMU, the St. Louis NPR affiliate, reports. A must read.
New Beethoven manuscript found in America. The piece isn't new, but you can see his writing and notes. Very interesting.
When the world never seems / To be living up to your dreams / And suddenly you're finding out / The facts of life are all about you
I got an email with a "know your friends" survey. Its interesting to get this info, but the process is pretty tacky. Here's some info on me. If you want to copy and send me some answers, be my guest. I'll read it.
1. First name? Christian
2. Were you named after anyone? Christian is from the Greek "Kristos" meaning "the annointed one"
3. Do you wish on stars? Never
4. When did you last cry? When my loogie wouldn't get all the way to the star
5. Do you like your handwriting? Yes, its childish
6. What is your favorite lunch meat? Cappicola
7. What is your birthday? September, 11
8. What is your most embarrassing CD you sing to? Alvin and the Chipmunks
9. If you were another person, would YOU be friends with you? I could always use another drug-buddy
10. Do you have a journal? BLOG
11. What are your nicknames? Chris, C-men, Christalballz, hey you
12. Would you bungee jump? I prefer to bungee push
13. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? (velcro)
14. Do you think that you are strong? Yep
15. What is your favorite ice cream flavor? Girl - flavor
16. Shoe Size? Mine go to 11
17. Red or Pink? Red.
18. What is your least favorite thing about yourself? I'm too beautiful
19. Who do you miss most? My two dogs who died ten years ago
20. Do you want everyone you send this to, to send it back? Blog it back
21. What color pants and shoes are you wearing right now? Levis and sox
22. What are you listening to right now? KWMU NPR
23. Last thing you ate? Beer
24. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Clear
25. What is the weather like right now? 80 and smoggy
26. Last person you talked to on the phone? My great sister. She's teaching freshman english at Washington University and just ran the 26 mile Chicago Marathon.
27. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex? Eyebrows
28. Do you like the person who sent this to you? He's a good person but, you know, a drummer
29. Favorite drink? Heineken
30. Favorite Sport to watch and play? Baseball / roommate punching
31. Hair Color? Brown
32. Eye Color? Blue
33. Do you wear contacts? Sadly, yes
34. Favorite Food? Italian or a fat steak
35. Last Movie You Watched? The Magnificent Seven
36. Favorite Day Of The Year? December 31st
38. Summer or winter? Winter
39. Hugs OR Kisses? Licks
40. What Is Your Favorite Dessert? A cig
41. Who is most likely to Respond? NA
42. Who is least likely to Respond? NA
43. Who lives in your house? Tony (aka Pamps) and I
44. What book(s) are you reading? Re-reading Franny & Zoey, also a collection of Charles Bukowski interviews called Sunlight Here I Am
45. What's On Your Mouse Pad? Its one of those touch pads
46. What did you watch last night on TV? SOPRANOS
47. Favorite Smell? My mother's cooking when I visit
48. Favorite Sounds? Rock and roll
49. Rolling Stones or Beatles? On a desert island, The Beatles
50. What's the furthest you've been from home? Its sad, but LA. Right now
1. First name? Christian
2. Were you named after anyone? Christian is from the Greek "Kristos" meaning "the annointed one"
3. Do you wish on stars? Never
4. When did you last cry? When my loogie wouldn't get all the way to the star
5. Do you like your handwriting? Yes, its childish
6. What is your favorite lunch meat? Cappicola
7. What is your birthday? September, 11
8. What is your most embarrassing CD you sing to? Alvin and the Chipmunks
9. If you were another person, would YOU be friends with you? I could always use another drug-buddy
10. Do you have a journal? BLOG
11. What are your nicknames? Chris, C-men, Christalballz, hey you
12. Would you bungee jump? I prefer to bungee push
13. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? (velcro)
14. Do you think that you are strong? Yep
15. What is your favorite ice cream flavor? Girl - flavor
16. Shoe Size? Mine go to 11
17. Red or Pink? Red.
18. What is your least favorite thing about yourself? I'm too beautiful
19. Who do you miss most? My two dogs who died ten years ago
20. Do you want everyone you send this to, to send it back? Blog it back
21. What color pants and shoes are you wearing right now? Levis and sox
22. What are you listening to right now? KWMU NPR
23. Last thing you ate? Beer
24. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Clear
25. What is the weather like right now? 80 and smoggy
26. Last person you talked to on the phone? My great sister. She's teaching freshman english at Washington University and just ran the 26 mile Chicago Marathon.
27. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex? Eyebrows
28. Do you like the person who sent this to you? He's a good person but, you know, a drummer
29. Favorite drink? Heineken
30. Favorite Sport to watch and play? Baseball / roommate punching
31. Hair Color? Brown
32. Eye Color? Blue
33. Do you wear contacts? Sadly, yes
34. Favorite Food? Italian or a fat steak
35. Last Movie You Watched? The Magnificent Seven
36. Favorite Day Of The Year? December 31st
38. Summer or winter? Winter
39. Hugs OR Kisses? Licks
40. What Is Your Favorite Dessert? A cig
41. Who is most likely to Respond? NA
42. Who is least likely to Respond? NA
43. Who lives in your house? Tony (aka Pamps) and I
44. What book(s) are you reading? Re-reading Franny & Zoey, also a collection of Charles Bukowski interviews called Sunlight Here I Am
45. What's On Your Mouse Pad? Its one of those touch pads
46. What did you watch last night on TV? SOPRANOS
47. Favorite Smell? My mother's cooking when I visit
48. Favorite Sounds? Rock and roll
49. Rolling Stones or Beatles? On a desert island, The Beatles
50. What's the furthest you've been from home? Its sad, but LA. Right now
Fresh from a visit to the Papal Discount Store,
its Pope T-head I
Give this site 3 minutes and a jpg of your face for some cheesi fun. This is Muglets.
Woman gives birth to her 16th child. Considering more. Guess where they're from, then guess the hubby's name. Hubby heard mumbling something about throwing a hot dog and a hallway...
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
In case you're living under a rock, game 1 of the NLCS against the Astros starts 7 pm central. Go Cards.
VIDEO: Its said by many that Green Day is the best live band. You can judge with this AOL collection of vids from their concert in LA last night.
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
VIDEO: I'd always heard Bob Saget worked blue. Drive by a club where he's doing stand up in LA and its packed. Here's a video of Full House: Uncensored.
Monday, October 10, 2005
MUSIC: Here's your understatement of the day- there are a lot of Mexicans in LA. Mexican food here is awesome, but the two most popular types of music are too much to take. Ranchero is the polka style folk music adapted from the Germans who migrated to Mexico. Its got accordian, tuba on bass and some cantor jamon. The link goes to one example of ranchero. I heard this band shares a studio apartment together. The other is reggaeton, pronounced reggae-tone. This features Mexicans rapping over all electronic reggae beats. Oohhhh YEAH.
Could it be? The most ominous figure behind Bush will be indicted? Karl Rove has been the spin master general for W. and is the worst kind of politician... a skillful one.
Sunday, October 09, 2005
The Cardinals will face Houston. The Astros took the Braves in a one-game double header of 18 innings. Atlanta needs Mylanta.
Alright Sayertubbies.... who thinks I need more JPGs of people to butcher? Everyone? OK. Send JPGs.
Bi the way, have you heard about Tinkiwinky?
JBK. Jake Ruby. Whatever. I can't make the pics black and white with this thrid grader type edit program, but the image speaks for itself. Owned.
GERMANY: Ok, its not really Germany. Its Belgium. But they're close and the story sounds kraut-ish.
The ghost of John the Fisherman meets his demise. Owned.
Saturday, October 08, 2005
You could be the proud owner of Mike Patton's Mac G4 computer.
MUSIC: I got to thinking about Buckethead. Then I thought about Bernie Worrell (they were in Praxis together). Then I thought about Bootsy and his hit with Deee-Lite. Then I had a sandwich. Yahoo music is a good, free service.
This was not intentional. I swear it just came together. So you know, this is as racy as the mainpage will ever be. Never anything pink or furry. This should count as a Chris Gets Owned. Its also a window into my releationships.
Have you ever had a case of hat hair?
Friday, October 07, 2005
Tony's had enough, see photo below. Moving on...
Owned. I can do so much more to these photos.
The only thing dumber than this post is how long it took me to come up with it. You wanna try cookin with one eye?
That's it. We're all f'ed.
Thursday, October 06, 2005
A useless tutorial for you; pwn3d is internet speak for "owned". They look alike, but if you're doing this stuff at work or school and want to hide the content it helps to not have a searchable word. This really boils down to staying one step ahead of the man. Yes, its stupid that I know this. Owned means that one person (or creature) is dominating another. This, my friends, is the new photo-edit theme. OWNED.
VIDEO: The Family Guy is funny. My landlord lent me the first two seasons and I'm sold (except they can't hold a candle to the Simpsons). Here's an especially childish cut, a Michael Moore vs Peter contest in the men's room.
This is yucky. It was done after the one below which is also yucky. Mr.Yuck
OK, this is offensive. Would the gentleman in the photo please let me know if he wants this removed? chrismisou@aol.com. Its all in good fun. I'll butcher myself next.
A national treasure you may not know: Studs Terkel, in addition to having a kinky name, has covered American history in all its forms for over 60 years. I read The Good War and would encourage anyone interested in WWII to read it. Its a collection of short interviews with vets and it is the precursor to bloging. That is to say, compelling stories in bite-sized pieces.
"blog" is a contraction of "web" and "log". Another type is milblog, done by someone in the military. Iraq blogs are very moving. This online encyclopedia has several to choose from. When mainstream media wants to BS you, go straight to the source: blog.
HAPPY EARLY HALLOWEEN
Many people love Monty Python. I'm not such a big fan. Maybe my mind will change after reading through every script.
PHOTOS: Check out these classic Beatles shots going back to the 50's. Very cool.
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
The worst part will be when I get artsy. 
The Scream. For ice cream. just let me get the hang of this.
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
This is odd/dumb. I need some time for fresh ideas. Gimme a little time.
This is just too weird. Give me a few days to recover. This is just weird.
Pro sports can be really lame. That said, the Cards are in their last season at Busch and they're doing great. Show some spirit. Go Cards.
VIDEO: A new modern take on a classic. I would love to pull this off on someone. Ifilm rules.
VIDEO: New live Pixies 2005 in France. This monkey is in heaven.
Monday, October 03, 2005
I'm getting better at this. More to come yet. Camp is fun. Send jpg.
VIDEO: One episode of the classic SNL bit Mr. Robinson's Neighborhood.
The Nobel prize for medicine has been awarded to two Australian MDs who proved that ulcers are caused by a type of bacteria, not stress. Another old wive's tale debunked.
Bush has named his second person for the Supreme Court. Check out the dossier on Mrs. Miers here. In case you forgot, Bush is an idiot.
GAME: A challange needing wit and cunning, Gotti Pants Game. How good are you at pantsing total strangers?
Who?.... You.On they go. I'll get back to regular posts soon, but this is way too fun.
send me your jpg. or your booze.
A
I don't know how you remember the show...
I don't know how you remember the show... Keep the faith, they'll get better
I NEED JPGs. EMAIL ME PLEASE!
Here's some more of me being bad.More to come, less of me
Saturday, October 01, 2005
OWNED. Thank Christ (no pun intended) our culture lets us choose our own partners. Thanks Attu.
OJ Simpson is back. The major horror comic book convention here in LA is called NecroComicon. OJ is the featured guest and he's signing autographs. Here's the official site, its all over the news too. I'm done thinking about it.
